Three Things Severus Snape Never Knew
by 10millionpeople
Summary: Severus Snape is a smart man; it's just common knowledge. But there are three things that he never knew, and the last of them might have caused his downfall. / Snape/Lily; pre-DH era.


**A/N- Hey guys! So, I don't even know if I got the Snape world right here, but I gave it a go. I'm not too great at Snape fic, but I hope this is up to par! Leave me a review and tell me whatcha think, hmm? (:**

**Disclaimer- Really?**

Severus Snape paced the edge of the Astronomy Tower, his hand on the railing and his heart over the ledge.

He used to like the view from up here, but not anymore. The winters have been tough to the landscapes, and they hardly held as much beauty as they once did.

(What he never knew was that it wasn't the landscapes that lost their shine, but rather the way he saw the world.)

Technically, students—and teachers, unless granted special permission—weren't allowed to be on school grounds during the summer, but technically, Snape didn't get a crap. He was his own man, after all. He killed Albus Dumbledore, possibly the bravest man he ever knew, on the very spot his feet were scuffing up right now.

_I bet I'm treading all over his metaphorical blood,_ he heard a dark, sarcastic voice say. He thought it might be his own, but he learned to tune out that sound a long time ago. (He didn't think he'd recognize it after muttering a death curse, anyway.)

He'd rather think about the earlier memory he had of that tower.

_Five minutes till midnight and Severus was sitting on the steps, book of constellations in hand. She strolled in a second later, glancing behind her every now and then just to make sure they were still alone._

_They always were._

_She smiled brilliantly at him and his heart warmed, soon finding himself mirroring her. A pair of old Muggle binoculars around her neck that probably weren't going to do them any good, she grabbed his hand and half-led, half-dragged him to the edge of the tower so they could look up._

"_I absolutely adore waning moons," she said, and he nodded in agreement._

_Half an hour later they found themselves on the ground, leaning on the railing. The not-so-useful binoculars were resting on the steps, and the book was beside them, wind whipping its pages about. Somehow, Severus' hand had found its way into her hair, and she was leaning against him, eyes fluttering closed only to shoot open with every gust of wind._

_He smiled, contented._

"_It's so…" she yawned, eyes closed again. "Beautiful; Severus, don't you think?"_

_He was still staring down at her. "Yeah… it is." Wind hit, and her eyes popped. She sighed and adjusted so she could look at him. His hand reluctantly fell from her hair._

_(What he never knew was that she wanted him to keep it there, and was quite disappointed when he let it drop.)_

"_Thank you… for staying up here with me. I know we could get caught and everything, but… I don't know. They don't let us up here at night near enough." He knew exactly what she meant, but before he could tell her she pressed her lips to his._

_One of her hands found his on the floor and she grabbed his thumb, holding on as his other hand found its way back into her hair. She cupped his cheek, and before he could get the feel of her now in his lap, she pulled back._

_She sighed and cuddled into his chest, placing the hand that had been on his cheek on his chest. "We're going to be friends forever, right Sev?"_

_He didn't hesitate when he said, "Always."_

Shot back to reality like her eyes when the wind blows, his hands gripped the railing so tight he thought his knuckles just might split. She really used to love it up here. He really used to love her.

(Still does, really.)

She was completely infatuated with the stars (if his memory of her was still fresh, which thanks to the well-worn pensive, he knew it was) and loved laying up here and staring for hours. He spent a couple stolen nights up with her, just laying, staring (they never got caught, don't know how).

He gritted his teeth and then smiled, but it was more of the kind of smirk you'd see on Muggle Christmas cartoons riddled with green robbers. In just two months, the students who were so Godforsaken to attend this school will be completely at his mercy. After all, he'll be their headmaster. They'll have to listen to him. They'll have _no choice_.

Silently, he wondered what she'd say to him. She'd be disappointed, he knew… but he wondered if she'd forgive him. If she ever forgave him. (For everything, he thought, and instantly sobered even more.)

She was his first and last kiss, and he knew he'll never have another. He didn't know if he was her first or not (knew he wasn't her last, anyway).

He was too far gone in her life to be her last anything.

(What he never knew was that she never went up to the Astronomy Tower after that night, because two days later he called her a Mudblood and she started to see a certain Mr. Potter in a completely new light.

James hated astronomy. Wouldn't step foot in the tower. So neither did she, after that night.)


End file.
